Self-Doubt & Trust Issue: November 2011

is going to Arau, Perlis TONIGHT

train gerak pukul 9pm something. i'll be sleeping on it tonight. and reach arau by tomorrow morning.

wish me luck yaw.

second sem is going to be TOUGH! i guess. coz first, jauh dari members. second, new hostel, hope dapat roommates yg okays. third, subject macam hardcore gile. sem 1 pun macam nak pengsan. ouch! heh.

please please please please help me, ya Allah :|

but hey! i survived first sem yg ada orientasi macam gila hell tu, so i will definitely make it alive on this one. right? RIGHT???! k enough babbling and let's finish packing~

yes thanks tumblr, gambar nie baaaaaaaaaaaanyaaak sangat membantu.

nervous gegila & seeing this making me calm~ hoo yeah :)

wanna know why i am so gila nervous? well in first sem, still boleh bayangkan diri masuk uitm, dengan orientasi nya bagai, so i'm not that scared.

tapi sem 2 nie? tak boleh nak gambarkan lagi. so that's why nervous.

so maybe the unexpected is waiting in the future. but who knows, the unexpected could be the most spectacular experience ever, right?

k. bye hensem gemok ku sayang. bye princess lion & thomas comot!

bye grey & anak baru 3 ekor. 2 hitam & 1 macam lembu. kay bye~

and while i'm goin' out of this town, he's arrived. damn you fate =__=

Assalammualaikum :)

today has been quite a day. roller coaster much & i was excited at one moment & suddenly everything seems like a nightmare. but hey, that's my life. things are pretty normal to be honest but the way i cope with these things really differentiate me from others. i hate myself. i'm weird & i'm awkward & i am not normal. is that a bad thing? no. that's cool.

my point here is, i'm going back to arau, perlis this 19 november & i seriously hated it. but i'm pretty excited too but in a different kind of excited. poyo kan gua. well oh well. sumpah rindu gila nak jumpa fatin amira, amaliena, syafika suara tomei, athirah, azreena, hanna pn bibir, fit & pei wen. i just listed my all-time best friends. well some of them. why our time never match? aku cuti, hang tak. aku busy, hang free. wth man? nvm.

ooooooooooooh yeah. i gain weight. dulu []4kg & skrg []6 kg. 2kilos bebeh. cousin ku yg dah beranak pun lagi kurus dari aku. story of my life, again~ oh well, what can i say, i loveeee eating. it's my only talent. everyone else is busy playing guitar, taking cool shots of photography, editing blogs, having cool style, going to cool places, while i'm stuck here, talentless, fat & ugly & getting stupid-er day by day. i'm cool with that but not my mom.

and i am dying for a new phone or at least an ipod. pretty please? i swear this sem, i'll save money & buy my favourite gadget by april. i freaking swear! haha :D my current phone is working fine, alright, but hey, as long as it plays, it stays. that's why i am willing to wait until april next year. and of course i needed to focus on studying first! so put aside the entertainment for a while & get my mind on track. oh yeah!

the first thing i did when i bought a mouse is............ playing chuzzle deluxe. it's cute & addictive & i find it's quite relaxing. again with my weirdness but it's the truth. and i started to hate twitter. everyone seems to tweet-ing about cool stuff & their current destination, who's they're with & even show-off. and that's annoying. what's more annoying is those twitter account that promoted another twitter account & it fills your timeline with shits. so bye bye twitter, leaving ya!

and so is facebook. what's with the virus & hackers thingy? the only thing that makes me go back there is my friends. phone would work too but facebook is free. haha. okay. enough crap & critics.

that is all. all is well. well goodbye now.

and i am just so crazy in obsessed with bruno mars' song, it will rain. forever playing non-stop. bye!

and yeah i started to dislike ryan higa & kevjumba too. i don't know why. they just stupid. ryan higa even mention it's stupid to watch his video (saw it on tumblr), so i guess it is stupid to watch their pointless video. right? heh. whatever.

and started on monday, i've downloaded korean movies, 3 korean dramas & 2 japan dramas & currently downloading some more. cool right? i mean, how laju is that? and it's only wednesday, turning to thursday. and speaking of thursday, i'm gonna have to start to pack my stuff today. oh Allah please help me deal with this kind of stressful moments. Amin :|

so when i think that my life is never enough, i started to list out the new things i just get. like new shoes, new watch, new bag, and yeah, it works, i am thankful again. i am rich enough to discover that i don't need anymore stuff & i am happy with what i've got.

and how on earth do i started to hate cats? the two kitties & two adult cats in my house are killing me!! i feel like throwing them out or just sell them! but on 2nd thought, that's cruel & i don't wanna be cruel. i love cats. maybe now is just not my loving-cat moments. plus i needed to clean their shit every single day so............. i'm bitter. yeah. i hate annoying cats :P

and today, i also learn that older people are crucial. they are impossible to understand. women are impossible to understand. i don't even understand myself, how do i expect to understand someone else? oh man the world is being a bitch. can't wait for allll of this to be over.

lol i bought a novel at mph the other day. can't wait to read it. waiting on the list, i have 3 books to finish. wish me luck to read them all. might as well ignore the world & improve ma language yaw. turn on the happy mode, hehe :D

seeing my tumblr, i haven't been reblogging much but trust me when i say, i've been clicking the likes button up to thousands post now. here's the stuff i like on tumblr >>>>>>>>> go here :) cool isn't it? yeah, i love what i love and i hope you do too.

and i've been writing & day-dreaming sepanjang cuti holiday nie. yeah, i'm such a loser but they keep me busy & my time is filled with less boring stuff. and i just hated reading several status or tweet saying they're bored or whatever. get a job or get a hobby or find one! huh~

crap much? yeah. this is what happens when my mind starts scrolling & my hands just can't stop typing. and my english is not even that good! hahahaha :D

i admit, in my whole life, people who came into my life, they usually PRETTIER than me. you got that? preeeeeeeetttttieerr than me. or smarter, or better or skinnier. or perfect-er. and that's pretty much explain my lack of confidence. anyone that walks into my life, they just better than i am. funny kan? hoho

i even thought of making a video. alah macam ryan higa tu, simply to let out opinions, or talk about world issue or something like that. but on second & third thoughts, i can't talk to cameras haha. plus i don't have a real cool cameras & i might as well ended up making weird faces so.......... forget it.

what i don't get the most is people who think they are kind & beriman enough to post or RT things about islamic, yet they're not even close to being a fully muslim. funny right? and that's just hypocrite. second thing i don't get is why do people who thinks they are always right exists? i mean, if they are always right, they should've gone to heaven right away right? because they are always right?? heh. oh people and the world. please stop it. <<<<< these are craps, ignore it :)

one last final thing.

k-pop. plastic surgery. fake bitches. know what i think? they are all like dolls. not dogs but dolls. their songs were written by their producers. their dance were created by their choreographer. their dresses & outfit designed by their personal designer & even sponsored. their make-up are of course by experts & they don't even sing live! their home, meal & food are provided by their manager & all that's left to do is to act cute, be pretty, have a good personality & exercise. what is that? is that even a life? and yeah i'm talking about k-pop idol. those idol who sings and dance and showed up in a talk show and talk craps. that kind of idol. what's great about them is their looks, clothes & their songs & dances. which is not even originally from them. their looks are plastics, their clothes are sponsored, their songs are made for them & their dance is not even coming from their creativity. and their voices are all edited & auto-tuned & lip-sync!!! wtf!! and i can conclude here that koreans are desperately in need for beautiful people to be their dolls. okay~

LOL i just made that up but guess what, it sounds right! haha :D

anyway, my back is killing me now & it's time to berambus. in a kinder words, it's time to leave.